Sean's Travels: Insert Awful Traverse Pun Later

Where's Sean?
U-S-A! U-S-A!
Countries: 196/197

THINGS PEOPLE WROTE ABOUT ME

ALL THE PLACES

2025: Jonestown, Guyana - Japan - China - Hong Kong - Japan - Canada - USA: 48 States Road Trip (7 Done)
2024: Eritrea - Saudi Arabia - Spain - Italy - Republic of the Congo - France - Tunisia - Libya - Spain - Greece - France - Germany - Hungary - China - Hong Kong - Japan - Madagascar - Denmark - Svalbard - Norway - The Netherlands - Belgium - France - USA: 12 States - Greenland - Iceland - Ireland - United Kingdom - Japan - Ethiopia - Somaliland - Qatar - Bahrain - Turkey
2023: The Bahamas - Antigua & Barbuda - St Kitts & Nevis - Nicaragua - Haiti - Dominican Republic - Myanmar - Thailand - Japan - Vietnam - Laos - Cambodia - Barbados - Trinidad & Tobago - Grenada - Dominica - St Vincent & the Grenadines - St Lucia - Brazil - Uruguay - Paraguay - Cuba - Vanuatu - Solomon Islands - Fiji - Tuvalu - Samoa - Kiribati - Marshall Islands - Micronesia - Palau - Taiwan - Bangladesh - Bhutan - Nepal - China - Mongolia - Hong Kong - Lebanon - Syria - Uganda - Malawi - Mauritius - India - Hong Kong - Philippines - Papua New Guinea - Australia - East Timor - Indonesia - Philippines - Tonga - Nauru - Australia - Vietnam - South Korea - Iran - India - China - Sri Lanka - The Maldives - Equatorial Guinea - Gabon - France - UK - Guyana - Suriname - French Guiana - Ecuador
2022: Chad - Sudan - South Sudan - Mali - Ethiopia - Burundi - DRC - Rwanda - Djibouti - Angola - Mozambique - Comoros - Seychelles - Malaysia - Brunei - Singapore - UK - France - Switzerland - Italy - Vatican City - Gambia - Sierra Leone - Liberia - Ivory Coast - Ghana - Togo - Benin - Somalia - Belgium - Austria - Slovakia - Tunisia - Algeria - Namibia - Eswatini - Lesotho - South Africa - Niger - Burkina Faso - Gambia - Sierra Leone - Guinea Bissau - Ghana - Sao Tome - Portugal - Guinea - Nigeria
2021: Afghanistan - UAE - Tanzania - Pakistan - Iraq - Kurdistan - Armenia - Bulgaria - Cyprus - Romania - Moldova - Croatia - Bosnia & Herzegovina - Slovenia - Slovakia - Poland - Lithuania - Latvia - Estonia - Czech Republic - Azerbaijan - Kosovo - Spain - Oman - Yemen - Morocco - Western Sahara - Mauritania - Cabo Verde - Senegal - Kenya - Zimbabwe - Botswana - Zambia - Cameroon - Central African Republic - Mexico
2020: Jamaica - Norway - Hungary - Israel - Palestine - Greece - Yemen - UAE - Bahrain - Kuwait - UK - France - The Netherlands - Belgium - Germany - Luxembourg - Switzerland - Liechtenstein - Northern Italy - San Marino - Central Italy - Vatican City - Southern Italy - Monaco - Andorra - Malta - Portugal - Sweden - Finland - The Netherlands - Poland - France - Spain - Montenegro - Serbia - North Macedonia - Albania - Costa Rica
2019: Egypt - Qatar - Jordan - Mexico - Guatemala - Belize - Germany - Russia - Latvia - Belarus - Chernobyl - 5 Countries, 1 Day - The Bahamas - Taiwan - Hong Kong & Macao - China - Tibet - Argentina - Antarctica - Colombia - Panama
2018: Turkey - Turkmenistan - Peru - Bolivia - Chile - Easter Island - England - Ireland - Poland - USA: Minnesota - Australia - New Zealand - Turkmenistan - Uzbekistan - Tajikistan - Kyrgyzstan - Kazakhstan - Georgia - Denmark - Honduras - El Salvador
2017: Japan - China - North Korea - USA: West
2016: USA: Southwest - Iceland - England - Ireland - Scotland - France - USA: Standing Rock - USA: Southwest
2014 Hawaii 2012: USA: 29 States

ALL THE STORIES

The instinct here is to run. It is very, very difficult to not turn around and run for your life at the moment when three dogs that look like German shepherds crossed with the cast of Mad Max are coming for your soul. But running from a dog guarantees that it will chase you, and then you're probably fucked.

My retro metro reverie was suddenly shattered when I accidentally elbowed a cute girl on the top of her head like I was Tony Jaa finishing off an elephant poacher. I had been gripping the ceiling of the crowded subway car to keep from tipping over into my fellow White Russians every time the car herky jerkily stopped or started. This is fine until you need to move your arms down to exit the car or scratch your nuts and BONK!

Disembarking in Riga’s historical Old Town, I paid my respects to Latvia’s three biggest badasses at the Latvian Rifleman monument. The Latvian Riflemen were a Balt-rock trio known both for their hits “Thanks a Lat,” “Rifle Tower” and “You Can’t Spell U.S.S.R. Without Us” as well as their ill-advised switch to socially-conscious hip-hop in the late 90s, in an attempt to keep up with the times.

Following the Ikea-style instructions on the tube, I pierced the seal like I was opening a tube of Krazy Glue, crossed my fingers and squeezed the tube into my mouth. Oh. Oh my god. Oh my sweet Christ. It wasn’t soup-flavored paste at all. It was legit mushroom soup, somehow, squirting cold and wet into my mouth. Oh god. My stomach tried to burrow straight through my nuts and down into the chair I was sitting in to avoid any contact with this soup.

Here we have the Ratskeller, which is German for Rat Seller, a place where you can buy rats. This is the place you want to be if you happen to find yourself low on rats. Some less savvy world travelers might mistake this for Rat Cellar, a basement full of rats, but that's actually Rattenuntergrounden, which is in a different part of town.

“Don’t worry, we will teach you how to use all the snorkeling equipment, so even if you’re notOH MY FUCK A MANATEE EVERYBODY INTO THE WATER!!!” I struggled to get my gigantic fins on without kicking myself in the eye and to strap my snorkel and mask onto my face in the right direction so the snorkel was not pointing underwater, and then flopped overboard like a marlin escaping its first terrifying encounter with the surface world.