Sean's Travels: Insert Awful Traverse Pun Later

Where's Sean?
U-S-A! U-S-A!
Countries: 196/197

THINGS PEOPLE WROTE ABOUT ME

ALL THE PLACES

2025: Jonestown, Guyana - Japan - China - Hong Kong - Japan - Canada - USA: 48 States Road Trip (7 Done)
2024: Eritrea - Saudi Arabia - Spain - Italy - Republic of the Congo - France - Tunisia - Libya - Spain - Greece - France - Germany - Hungary - China - Hong Kong - Japan - Madagascar - Denmark - Svalbard - Norway - The Netherlands - Belgium - France - USA: 12 States - Greenland - Iceland - Ireland - United Kingdom - Japan - Ethiopia - Somaliland - Qatar - Bahrain - Turkey
2023: The Bahamas - Antigua & Barbuda - St Kitts & Nevis - Nicaragua - Haiti - Dominican Republic - Myanmar - Thailand - Japan - Vietnam - Laos - Cambodia - Barbados - Trinidad & Tobago - Grenada - Dominica - St Vincent & the Grenadines - St Lucia - Brazil - Uruguay - Paraguay - Cuba - Vanuatu - Solomon Islands - Fiji - Tuvalu - Samoa - Kiribati - Marshall Islands - Micronesia - Palau - Taiwan - Bangladesh - Bhutan - Nepal - China - Mongolia - Hong Kong - Lebanon - Syria - Uganda - Malawi - Mauritius - India - Hong Kong - Philippines - Papua New Guinea - Australia - East Timor - Indonesia - Philippines - Tonga - Nauru - Australia - Vietnam - South Korea - Iran - India - China - Sri Lanka - The Maldives - Equatorial Guinea - Gabon - France - UK - Guyana - Suriname - French Guiana - Ecuador
2022: Chad - Sudan - South Sudan - Mali - Ethiopia - Burundi - DRC - Rwanda - Djibouti - Angola - Mozambique - Comoros - Seychelles - Malaysia - Brunei - Singapore - UK - France - Switzerland - Italy - Vatican City - Gambia - Sierra Leone - Liberia - Ivory Coast - Ghana - Togo - Benin - Somalia - Belgium - Austria - Slovakia - Tunisia - Algeria - Namibia - Eswatini - Lesotho - South Africa - Niger - Burkina Faso - Gambia - Sierra Leone - Guinea Bissau - Ghana - Sao Tome - Portugal - Guinea - Nigeria
2021: Afghanistan - UAE - Tanzania - Pakistan - Iraq - Kurdistan - Armenia - Bulgaria - Cyprus - Romania - Moldova - Croatia - Bosnia & Herzegovina - Slovenia - Slovakia - Poland - Lithuania - Latvia - Estonia - Czech Republic - Azerbaijan - Kosovo - Spain - Oman - Yemen - Morocco - Western Sahara - Mauritania - Cabo Verde - Senegal - Kenya - Zimbabwe - Botswana - Zambia - Cameroon - Central African Republic - Mexico
2020: Jamaica - Norway - Hungary - Israel - Palestine - Greece - Yemen - UAE - Bahrain - Kuwait - UK - France - The Netherlands - Belgium - Germany - Luxembourg - Switzerland - Liechtenstein - Northern Italy - San Marino - Central Italy - Vatican City - Southern Italy - Monaco - Andorra - Malta - Portugal - Sweden - Finland - The Netherlands - Poland - France - Spain - Montenegro - Serbia - North Macedonia - Albania - Costa Rica
2019: Egypt - Qatar - Jordan - Mexico - Guatemala - Belize - Germany - Russia - Latvia - Belarus - Chernobyl - 5 Countries, 1 Day - The Bahamas - Taiwan - Hong Kong & Macao - China - Tibet - Argentina - Antarctica - Colombia - Panama
2018: Turkey - Turkmenistan - Peru - Bolivia - Chile - Easter Island - England - Ireland - Poland - USA: Minnesota - Australia - New Zealand - Turkmenistan - Uzbekistan - Tajikistan - Kyrgyzstan - Kazakhstan - Georgia - Denmark - Honduras - El Salvador
2017: Japan - China - North Korea - USA: West
2016: USA: Southwest - Iceland - England - Ireland - Scotland - France - USA: Standing Rock - USA: Southwest
2014 Hawaii 2012: USA: 29 States

ALL THE STORIES

Suddenly, I stopped. My whole body was boiling hot and I couldn’t breathe. I looked up and Patricia had stopped in front of me. She turned around with her eyes huge and said “Can you feel THAT?” Yep. I turned around and Rick had stopped behind me. “I can’t breathe,” he said.

I was overjoyed that they didn’t try to start the rental car when we returned it. Much like a Hollywood child star, the car was spotless on the outside, but inside it was hopelessly messed up. The engine idled like a rhinoceros chugging pudding and it accelerated like a sack full of angry bees thrown at a witch. I hoped whoever got the car next wouldn’t be blamed for any of this.

Oh Jesus I just hit a speed bump so massive it might have actually been a bridge for dogs. I was going 50 miles an hour. My jeep lurched violently into the air, then scree scree screed to a stop at an awkward diagonal angle up the road. Wow. Sorry jeep! I hoped the guy wouldn’t look up from his YouTube videos when I returned this thing.

The cashier and bagger explained this to me via Spanish and yelling, gesturing that I’d need to go all the way across the massive store back to the produce section to print out a banana sticker. The 293 people in line behind me groaned in unison. I replied, via a mixture of Spanish and English that we’ll call “Seanish,” that this was in no way necessary and that they should just charge me whatever the maximum banana charge is.

Eventually the steps grew so tiny and I had to turn my feet sideways to fit them onto the six-inch steps, and they grew so steep I had to start grabbing the steps with my hands and ascending like I was rock climbing. I heard a Peruvian couple arguing in Spanish below me. “I can’t do it!” “Climb like a dog! CLIMB LIKE A DOG!”

There are good and bad times to suddenly realize you haven’t been on a bicycle in 15 years. Barreling down a steep mountain in Bolivia at dizzying speeds is one of the bad times. You might think it would be comforting to find yourself on a $3,000 downhill racing bike at this moment, but in actuality it’s like realizing you can’t drive while you’re behind the wheel of a Lamborghini and all the cops are chasing you.